Here is chapter 3. Hope you like, and please comment on it! Spelling, grammar, style, whatever!
Larania

Best Left Forgotten 3
Disclaimer: Dragon Ball Z belongs to someone other than me, and I make no money from this story. Has rape and yaoi.

"What do you mean, Piccolo?" asked Goku nervously. His mind suddenly showed him an image of a huge abyss, which he was about to step in… Piccolo just held him soberly with his onyx eyes. "You know, Goku. When Furiza-"

NO! Goku screamed mentally, his eyes clenching shut, his hands covering his ears as he hummed to keep from hearing what something told him he could not be allowed to know.

"I don't know, I don't know," Goku began to chant, and Piccolo reached over, and took his hands.

"You've hidden from yourself too long, Goku. Remember."

Goku's eyes were still screwed shut.

"Remember the battle with Furiza…"

The chasm in his mind opened wider. At the bottom Goku could see pictures. Not just pictures; he could see, and smell, and taste when he looked down…"

"You went down. I couldn't see you, or sense you for a while."

// Furiza laughed, as he pounded Goku into the ground. He had done something, Goku didn't know what, but he had paralyzed for a moment. His muscles and lungs screamed for air as he struggled to breathe.//

"I did sense Furiza's ki though. It was- gloating."

// Goku heard tearing cloth, and wondered what was going on. He couldn't move his head. All he could see was fragments of green sky and blue grass.

"So, the great `Super Saiya-jin' has fallen," leered the voice, and Goku wanted to shudder at the feeling of Furiza's cold skin against his.

"You are a pretty thing. However, I want you to know that you have lost. You people claimed that a Super Saiya-jin would defeat me. Let them see what I use their Super Saiya-jin for…"

Goku felt barely warm breath of that monster on his cheek as he spread the back of Goku's legs.

NO! He wanted to scream, as a hand felt around, touching what he had only been taught man and wife should share. He had never, ever thought something like that could happen. People just didn't do that!

Black talons sank into his neck and shoulders as something shoved into him.

Pain was something that Goku was used to dealing with. It was something he had used to improve himself, something that had told him he was alive, and growing. But that was the pain of training, of a battle, that pulsed through him. This was just sick.

Goku was strong, the protector, the one other's turned to. This didn't happen to him.

But it was.

Wanting to scream, all he could manage was a pathetic whimpered, as he heard the sounds Furiza taking his pleasure.

Tears streamed down his face, listening helplessly to the grunts and heavy breathing of the being on top of him. By then, the tearing pain of his anus had mixed with the pain of his internal organs being ripped apart, mixed with his broken bones.

His shattered soul.

There was a harsh gasp- and he could feel something spurt into him explosively, and he did yell, because this burned even worse…

And he could feel something change inside him.//

"Goku, I'm here," Piccolo said, and sat next to him on the bed. He took the man in his arms instinctively.

"You found me afterwards, didn't you?" Goku murmured into his chest, breathing in the soft, spring like smell from the Namek's body. It smelled like life. Some much different from the Ice-jin.

Piccolo nodded. "You were pretty beat up. Nail had some memories of healing people. I used a bit of that to keep you from dying on us again."

Piccolo petted Goku's hair awkwardly.

"You saved my life afterwards," Goku whispered. Piccolo nodded, knowing what he was talking about.

"Who is Gaea?" Piccolo asked slowly, like talking to a small child.

Goku gave a soft moan, and tears started down his face again.

"My baby," he said in a soft voice. The memories of the rape were wounds in his mind that had never scarred over. However, this one, while associated with pain and sadness, was so beautiful that he could never let it go.

Piccolo just waited for him to continue.

Goku took a deep breath. "On Yardrat, the Yardrat-jin found me, and healed me. They found out that I was- pregnant…" Goku stuttered. He still couldn't believe that had happened.

He swallowed hard. "I don't remember much of my healing. They are really good doctors there. They don't use needles. Um… It didn't take as long as I said for them to fix my ship, or learn that technique. I was waiting for the babies to be born."

Piccolo nodded again. He knew how fast Goku tended to learn things. Over a year was too long.

Goku wiped his eyes, and refused to look up.

Wait a minute, babies?

"Babies?" he asked, and Goku sobbed.

"Only- only Gaea made it. The rest were killed… I could feel them leave me. Their ki's just faded away. I was training one day when I was recovering, and they just weren't there!"

Piccolo saw Goku bring his knees up on the bed, and he hugged them.

"Two boys and another girl. Dead. How could Chi-Chi stand it? The fear that she would loose what grew inside her? So innocent, she was so innocent, Piccolo, so beautiful. I felt her grow, and when she was born she was smaller than Gohan!"

Now Goku was cradling something only he could see. He choked again.

"She was sick," he said with sorrow. "The doctors told me that Saiya-jins and Ice-jins didn't breed well together, and that she would die soon, as well."

Piccolo wondered if this what was the expression meant, when humans said `that your heart felt like it was breaking'. This shouldn't be Goku talking. It couldn't be. Not happy go lucky Goku. Not this innocent, gentle warrior.

"I stayed as long as I did, to keep her company, before she… she died," he said in a whisper. This broke whatever composure that Goku had managed to scrape together, as he fell over, rage as his own helplessness, despair, and every black emotion that had been denied crashed down on him then.

Goku wished he could die from this pain. His soul was in tatters, Piccolo looked up in time to see Goku's aura flare, and he shook Goku suddenly.

"Goku! Don't! What about Chi-Chi, Goten, Gohan? They would miss you, they need you as much as Gaea did!" he screamed into the Saiya-jin's face.

Goku hadn't heard him. He had firmed his resolve, and was going to join his other children again in the afterlife.

"I would miss you, Goku," Piccolo whispered, after he saw that look on his friend's face, not expecting to be heard. "I need you, too."

"After she died," Goku said flatly," the Yardrat healers told me that they could make the memories of what had happened go away. They said they could come back if I wanted them, or needed them."

Goku locked his eyes with Piccolo's.

"I want my babies, Piccolo. What Furiza did- I feel so dirty. How can I protect what I love, if he could do that to me? To anyone? I was afraid. I've never been that afraid before."

He continued on in a tone of self-loathing. "All I could think about was myself. I'm supposed to be protector of the innocent, Piccolo. How can I do that? How can I look myself in the mirror, when I failed them all, then asked that my memories be taken away?"

"You are mortal, Goku. There is nothing wrong in not wanting to hurt."

The aura faded, and Goku went limp in Piccolo's grip.

"He hurt me, Piccolo. Not my body, but my spirit."

Piccolo did the only thing he could think of, and started to rock him again.

"I want them back, Piccolo," he whispered faintly.

"We want you back," Piccolo answered.

Hearing a soft step, Piccolo looked towards the doorway. Bulma was standing there, her mouth open, holding a tray with a pitcher of water and some glasses.

She swallowed, and carried the tray over.

"How much did you hear?" Goku asked, not looking at her.

"M- most of it. Oh, Son-kun, I am so sorry…" She collected herself. "Do you want a shower? I can call Chi-Chi and the boys. You must want your family right now."

Goku nodded, but he still had his chin resting on Piccolo's shoulder. Piccolo continued to rock, then Goku pulled away, and walked towards the bathroom in the medical wing. He was still dressed in his paper gown.

"He clings to you like that because you found him first," Bulma said, turning to Piccolo.

He didn't answer, just watched the place that Goku had gone off to with concern.

"Why him, of all people? Its not right, his innocence might drive you crazy, but he should never have found out that he could fail like that."

Piccolo turned to Bulma, and they both had the same expression of rage. Bulma dropped her eyes first.

"Thank you," she told him, and he tilted his head.

"For what?"

"You helped him. I wish- that we could bring that little bastard back and-" she proceeded to give a lengthy speech on the anatomically impossible things she would do to Furiza. Piccolo smiled faintly.

"It was something that Furiza was quite good at," they heard a voice say, and Vegeta was there, standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. "He enjoyed breaking people."

"Help him, Namek," Vegeta said, and walked away.

Neither Piccolo nor Bulma could say anything.

To Be Continued...