Unknown Feeling
Author: Kei Arisugawa
Author's Warnings and Notes: None of the characters are mine, I don't own DBZ, they belong to their creators, whose names I can't remember. This is a shounen-ai, somewhat yaoi fic. And if that's not enough to warn you, I'M AN AVID 19 FAN!!!!!!!!!!! KYA~~HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!! Now on with the fic!!

Darkness. All I can see is a semi-blackness with distinguishable gray shapes that make up what little furniture I have in my quarters. It must have been long past midnight since all the lights in my room are out, even though I don't sleep. I've never really seen the point to the systematic turning off the lights in the lab. Androids don't need sleep.

But humans do...

...I wonder if he is asleep now?

Curious, I get up to check on him. My creator. He's really been pushing himself lately. Ever since he activated me, he's been staying up till all hours of the night and sometimes early morning working on his latest project. He practically buries himself in his work and bearly has time for anything else. He hasn't even told me what he's working on...

I make my way down the steel-walled corridor that leads to the lab I know he's in, since he's been practically a shut-in in that lab all week. I try to be as quiet as I can, which is easy since I can carry myself with a good degree of ease and silence. I don't even make a sound as I walk down the hallway, and the metal floor always makes creeking noises when he walks around. But he's human, and prone to be louder in everything he does.

When I finally reach the door to his lab, I pause. What if he was still awake and saw me looking into the lab? I have been told, specifically, never to go into his private lab, especially when he's in there. He'd be furious...and I don't want to see him angry. He's always been so nice to me, and I'd rather be destroyed then be the cause of a foul mood for him. Only, it's very late and I need to know how he's doing. He has been neglecting his personal health and I have to make sure he sleeps or at least rests for an hour or so. The idea to head back to my room pounds strongly in my memory banks, but I push it aside. He is more important. I take a deep breath, gathering my courage up, and I slowly punch in an access code.

Denied

I'm not surprised by this. He told me to stay out and he put a safeguard up to make sure of it. How like him. He knows how curious I can be. But I cannot help but feel a little hurt. He gave me the access codes for every room in the lab. I try another code, hoping it will work.

Denied

I'm frustrated now, since I have very little patience. I feel somewhat betrayed. He has never locked me out so why would he start now?! That question remains in my mind, even when I rip the door off it's hinges and go into the room.

To say that the lab is 'untidy" would be a major understatement. Stray mechanical parts are everywhere. File cabinets are open, file folders strewn around them with the contents spilled everywhere. A large connection to his main computer in the basement is sitting near the center of the lab, humming softly. Crumpled up pieces of paper are overflowing out of a small trash bin, next to the desk he is sitting at. His head down, almost buried amidst papers and plans. My sensitive ears pick up light snoring.

I sigh. He's fallen asleep in mid-work again.

I creep up behind him and look over his shoulder at what he was working on until he fell asleep. Some weird blueprints and notes. I take a second to read over them and I feel my eyes increase in size. He's going to make himself into an android??? The thought had never occurred to me that he wanted to be an android, but I can picture him as one. And a energy-absorbing model at that. Just like me.

I look over the rest of the desk and see something under his right hand. Gently lifting his hand up, I pull a photograph out from under his hand and look at it. I look back down at Gero-san, then back at the picture.

I can feel myself smile.

He has a picture of me.

It wasn't the best picture he could have taken, just a "surprise of the moment" one. I kind of look like I got caught on "Candid Camera" or something. I remember when he took it, too. He'd gone out to a city to buy supplies and extra metal parts. When he came home he also bought one of those cheap disposable cameras with him. He said it was cheap and he was in a good mood so he bought it. He took several pictures. Most of the pictures were insulting ones of Juuhachi-gou and Juunana-gou. He'd done everything from mismatching their clothing to markering on their faces. We washed them up and put them back afterwards. He still wanted his "failures" in good condition, just in case he found another use for them. I was closing the containment vessels they rested in when he told me to look his way. I turned toward his voice and he snapped a picture of me. It caught me totally off guard.

I sigh, reliving that wonderful memory, and put the picture back on the table, briefly wondering why he has it. I look down at him again. He looks so peaceful asleep. His usual perpetual frown lightened just a bit and his face doesn't look as painfully old as it normally does. If he smiled more, he'd look years younger and if he got more sleep, he'd have more energy to smile.

That desk is no place for him to be sleeping.

Effortlessly, I scoop him up and carry him to his room. Once there, I gently put him into bed and pull the covers over him. At least now he won't have a sore back from sitting in that hard wooden chair. I turn to leave, but I stop. It strikes me that Gero-san was possibly trying his hardest to stay awake, and sleep doesn't come easily to him once he's got his mind set on something. I've got to stay and, besides, I have nothing better to do back in my quarters. Why go back and sit alone with endless boredom? I looked down at Gero-san. I need to make sure he catches up on at least a couple of hours of sleep. My mind is made up. I pull up the chair from the desk in his room and sit to watch him.

He looks like he's had no sleep in weeks. Which is true, for the most part. I'm glad he exhausted himself, otherwise he would never sleep. He must want to become a android very badly. But 'why" is my biggest question. Why would he want to become and android? Longer lifespan, most likely. He's never came right out and said it, but he's afraid of dying. That's probably the reason he started making androids. To perfect the process and eventually make himself one. The man is selfish, even though he won't admit it. He also hates to admit that he's like an open book to me. I can usually tell when something is bothering him or if something is wrong. We never could keep secrets from each other.

I sigh longingly and rest my head on the pillow next to his.

Well...he could never keep secrets from me, anyway.

For a creator and a creation, we're very close. Closer then he is with any of his other creations. He never completed Juuroku-gou and he hates Juuhachi-gou and Juunana-gou with a passion. I'm his favorite. He enjoys spending time with me. He won't admit to that either. I enjoy spending time with him too, but I can't say that directly to his face or he'll think I'm malfunctioning. It's strange that as I think about it, I've grown more and more fond of him ever since I was activated. I'm almost positive the same goes for him.

I close a snow white hand over his old, wrinkled one. The feeling of it is unusual. Very soft but the skin is not as loose as I would have thought it would be. He uses his hands alot. Mostly on cold metal, putting it together, making another artificial being. Another creation that could take my place as his favorite. It scares me to think about it. My only comfort seems to lie in physical contact with my creator. He dislikes being touched often. Just knowing that he doesn't mind that I pat him on the back or catch him if he trips on something makes me happy. I'm content with touch, right now, happy to feel his hand in mine.

I wish I could stay like this forever.

I feel a warmth in the upper right part of my chest. A familiar feeling that I've become accustomed to whenever I am around Gero-san. A feeling that generates from the parts of me that are almost completely human; the parts that feel. I'm confused by them. Is it against my programming to think or feel like this? I'm afraid to ask Gero-san about it.

More specifically, I'm afraid of his reaction. What will he think? How can I even explain something I myself don't even understand? Yes, we're close, but closeness with him only goes so far.

I close my eyes and try to calm myself down. I can't get all worked up like this. Not now. Gero-san needs me more, so I can't act selfish and worry about my own feelings when he's practically killing himself over becoming an android. It makes me sad to see him do that to himself.

But when he's an android, I won't have to worry about him getting too little sleep or too little food. He won't need sleep or food. Just like me. Then we'll have all the time in the world.

Then maybe I can tell him about my feelings and maybe he'll explain them to me.

I hope....

~Fin~