Death by Chocolate
A lemon (my first) to celebrate my last days as a cake decorator.
Disclaimer: Don't own the DBZ boys---Toriyama-san does, didn't think up the name of the cake-Bruno's Inc. did.
Pairing: Goku and Vegeta
Beware: Lemony, Chocolatey Goodness….little bit of angst…lot of swearing…basically the things you would expect from a Das-chan fic…
Lemon in Part 2….

The smell of chocolate fills the air. Bittersweet. Kind of like my relationship with Vegeta. Kami, I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Try to be patient, I tell myself, he's really quite vulnerable. Sometimes, though, he can be so damn difficult. We're not speaking again, which bothers me. Yelling, screaming, name-calling, I can deal with that. But silence, from Vegeta, that scares the shit out of me.

The microwave chimes, pulling me out of my reverie. Still not melted. Shit. Stir, stir, stir. Hardest part of making this damn cake, all the stirring. Vegeta's worth the trouble, though. He hasn't said a word to me in nearly a week, I don't have a clue as to why. One minute, we're in bed, still coiled together from our love-making. The next, I'm holding my nose, and he's out of the room before my cry even leaves my throat. Hell if I know what happened.

I'm desperate. I can't think of a way to get him to talk to me. Yesterday, he even went so far as to come out to our usual sparring grounds just to make his point. I was going through some training drills, and suddenly there he was. I spoke his name, but he just stared right through me. I tried to get him to talk…nothing. Finally, I just gave up and went back to my drill. He stood there, arms folded, watching me for hours. When the sun set, I picked up my things to leave, and looked over to him. Vegeta was gone. Something was going on. I needed some help…fast. So I went to the person who knows him best.

Bulma. She's the only person who sees Vegeta the way that I do. They went their separate ways after the birth of their daughter, but the feeling she has for him is still the same, more like a big sister than a lover. She was pissed when she found out he and I were sleeping together, but she's gotten over it. We're best friends, have been since I was a boy, and nothing will change that. If anyone could give me some much-needed Ouji advice it was her.

"HAHAHAHA!!!!" Bulma screamed with laughter, "Good enough for you, Goku!!"

"Shut the hell up, Bulma, and help me, " I shot back.

She doubled over and started pounding the couch, shoulders shaking. I stood to leave. "Fine, if you won't help me, then I'll just have to tell Vegeta about your little "fling" with Yamcha. That'll get him talking, that's for damn sure."

Bulma sobered up quickly, "Don't you dare! He would have a hemorrhage if he knew I had cheated on him. I don't want to hurt him like that."

"You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt Vegeta. But, come on, quit screwing around and think of something…" I pleaded.

"Okay. You didn't say anything to him in bed that night? You didn't call him any pet-name or anything mushy like that?" Bulma asked.

"Hell no. I wasn't trying to get my teeth knocked out. I kept my mouth shut, as usual." I said. I wasn't embarrassed to tell Bulma about my strange relationship with Vegeta, because she had dealt with the same peculiarities when she was with him.

"You didn't grab his tail…didn't try to bite him…didn't try to dominate him?" she asked.

"No, no, and no. I've already found out the hard way about those…"

"Damn, Goku. I'm not sure what to tell you. Unless…"

"What?" I said hopefully.

Her ice-blue eyes flashed with inspiration, "I think I know. He's playing the "How-much-do-you-love-me" game. Also known as the "How-much-shit-will-you-take-off-me" game."

"Huh?" I'm not stupid, but I can be slow on the uptake. Sudden changes in conversation throw me.

"Vegeta. He's testing you, dear. He wants to see just how much shit you'll take before you get pissed off and kick his ass, " Bulma explained.

"I won't kick his ass, no matter what he does. Short of planetary destruction, he can do as he likes," I said.

"I know that, you know that, but Vegeta doesn't. He's already nervous because you're so much more powerful than he is. Deep down, he truly believes that you SHOULD beat him down."

"That's his past talking, Bulma. I'm not like that. How the hell can I prove it to him?" I asked.

"First of all, don't play these stupid games with him. Just ignore them."

"He's not talking to me, how the hell am I supposed to look over that?"

Bulma said gently, "That's what I'm getting at. He's finally found something that bothers you. You have to act as if it doesn't. Unless I miss my mark, he'll be coming around soon, just to see how you're taking the silent treatment. I'd just talk to him as if nothing were out of place."

"Just talk. Like we're having a conversation. Dammit, Bulma, I've never HAD a conversation with Vegeta. He says, "Do you want to spar with me, Kakarrot?"…

Bulma interrupted me, "Ah, the mating call of the Saiyan no Ouji…"

I started laughing, "Shut up, Bulma. But it's true! One thing leads to another…"

She interjected, "Which leads to hot monkey sex?"

"Dammit, onna, I'm trying to be serious…" Not really. I needed to laugh. This situation with Vegeta is beginning to take its toll on my customary good nature.

"Onna? You HAVE been spending a lot of time with him…"

We bantered back and forth for a while. Bulma is extremely intelligent, and one of the few people who doesn't talk down to me. Trunks came in, following behind him, as usual, was Goten. I horsed around with the boys until it was time for them to go to bed. I tucked them in, and planted a kiss on the forehead of a snoring Bra.

As we left the room, Bulma smacked herself in the head with her palm. "Oh, shit! I am so stupid! I've got it!"

"Nani?!? What the hell?" I exclaimed.

"His birthday. Dammit, we forgot his birthday!" Bulma said.

"Vegeta has a birthday?" I asked.

Bulma just looked at me. Idiotic comments such as that have given me quite a reputation. She started giggling. "You dumbass…"

I flushed, "That's not what I meant…what I should have said was, I didn't know that anyone knew Vegeta's birthday. We've never given him a party or anything…'

"Yeah…Right…let's give the Prince of Assholes a party and see what happens. There wouldn't be a house left standing for miles. No, we've never celebrated it, but Trunks told me. Vegeta was teaching him about the difference between a year on Chikyuu and a year on Vegetasei, and he used his birthday as an example. We fucking missed his birthday, Goku." Bulma was upset. Vegeta rarely showed any emotion, but he was really quite sensitive.

"Bulma, I didn't KNOW it was his birthday…"

"I don't think he was pissed about that. But Vegeta's birthday holds a lot of bad memories for him. He probably didn't want you to see him upset, and decided to put you off his scent." she explained.

"Well, I still feel like shit that I didn't do anything for him." I said.

"Wait…I think I've got an idea. Yeah…yeah!! Both of your problems solved. I AM a genius. See what you think. You cook, don't you? Or bake rather," she asked.

"Yeah. Never had to when I was with ChiChi, but I'm actually pretty good at it."

"I've got a hella recipe, but since I can't bake for shit…it's a chocolate cake, and you know what chocolate does to Vegeta…" Bulma trailed off.

"No, I don't. What does it do?" From the tone of her voice, it sounded pretty good.

"You don't know? Hell, I thought it was some kind of Saiyan biology thing. Chocolate doesn't have an effect on you?"

I was confused, "It tastes good, I like it a lot, but I don't know about…"

"You've never eaten a candy bar and gotten all relaxed and tranquil?"

"Vegeta. Relaxed and tranquil? Give me that damn recipe…"

"Yeah, and as a side-benefit, he's also extremely willing…" Bulma giggled.

"Relaxed, tranquil, AND willing?? What the hell are you waiting for? I've got some baking to do…"

Hence the stirring of chocolate. It's called a Death by Chocolate cake, and if this doesn't work, I don't know what will. Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. Chocolate cake, which is iced with dark chocolate icing, then you pour a shitload of melted chocolate over that. Add some chocolate-covered strawberries, and I truly can't think of a better way to die. Of course, if Vegeta figures out what I'm trying to do, he probably will kill me.

I finally get the chocolate melted, and pour it over the cake. It's beautiful. Only problem is, Vegeta knows how it affects him. How the hell am I supposed to get him to eat it, especially when he's not talking to me. I don't have a plan, which is a bad idea when going into battle with Ouji-sama. He's damned clever…and he doesn't trust me one little bit. I groan loudly. All of this, and it probably won't work. I have to try though.

The cake is finished. I set it on a plate in the center of the table. And stare at it. I've got to think of something. He's not about to accept anything from me. I'm doing good if I can get him to be in the same room with me, aside from the bedroom.

Hold up. Idea. Bulma is right. He will definitely show up, just to see how much he's aggravating me. I can't let him know this cake is for him. Only way to do that…eat a piece. He'll see that I've been eating it, hell, he might even think chocolate has the same effect on me. I'll worry about getting him to eat when the time comes. He IS Saiyan. Food is more important to us than breathing. I just might have a chance…

Nothing. Not a damn thing. I haven't seen hide nor hair of the Saiyan no Ouji and it's nearly eleven o'clock. Fuck it. I've had enough of this bullshit. I walk into the bedroom and pull out some pajama bottoms. Shirt, need a shirt…found one. Red and black plaid pajama bottoms, gray Nike t-shirt…I'm so damn sexy, Vegeta will fall over himself trying to jump my bones. Yeah, right. I look about twelve years old. I glance at the mirror. Same old Goku. Nose has been broken so many times, it's nearly straight again. Hair sticking out in every direction. I sigh. This is hopeless.

I pad down the hall and cut on the TV. Sumo. COOL!! Akebono vs. some other guy who's about to get his ass kicked! No Vegeta yet, but I'm still hopeful…

I open my eyes, it's nearly three o'clock. I must have dozed off. I sit up slowly, and run a hand over my face. Must clear fuzzy head. I walk to the front door, and pull it open.

Vegeta. I'll be damned. Sitting on the front stoop, looking for all the world like a little lost puppy that's found its way home. Damn, I love him…

"Hey, " I say gently. Not the most original man alive.

"Hn," Vegeta grunts. Well, I'm more original than that. I sit down beside him, but not too close. It doesn't help. I can feel his warmth next to me, I can smell his delicious scent, and desire fists in my gut. I want him so much. Not just physically. Every way. I want to be his lover, his friend, his brother, his mate. I want to be a part of the Ouji again. Our Fusion was as close to completion as I have ever felt. Sex comes close, but it just isn't enough.

I pull my knees to my chest. It's cold. I wonder just how long he's been sitting out here. It's so quiet, I need to say something.

"Vegeta. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. If I pissed you off or hurt you, I need you to tell me what I did. So I don't do it again," My voice is gentle. I'm afraid he's about to leave.

His deep voice answers, "You did nothing." Vegeta's face is unreadable, his posture defensive. He sits stiffly, almost as if he were expecting punishment.

"I found out from Bulma that we missed your birthday. I'm sorry. If I had known…"

A short bark of laughter. "Don't be sorry. I forgot it myself. Damned short years on this mudball."

"Well, if that isn't what was bothering you…may I ask what was?" I inquire. Worth a shot.

"Nothing. Nothing was bothering me, " he answers.

"Vegeta, that wasn't nothing…you were pissed, you haven't said a word to me…"

He cut me off harshly, "No, fool, I meant that was what bothered me."

I'm feeling stupid again. I'm obviously not firing on all cylinders. "Let me get this straight. Bear with me, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer. What you're saying is that what was bothering you was that nothing was bothering you?"

"Exactly."

I snort. I can't help it. He just makes life so damn complicated for himself. "I think my eyes are crossed from trying to figure that one out."

He glances at me and smiles slightly before he can stop himself. "Idiot."

"I'm not the one who's hacked off because he's happy. That is what you're getting at, right?"

His mouth twitches. He's so close to smiling…"No. I didn't say I was happy."

"Oh. Right. You couldn't be happy because you aren't miserable."

"I hate you, Kakarrot," he says tiredly. His heart isn't in it. He says it mechanically, trying to ward me off of his territory.

"I don't think you do. I think you have feelings for me, just as I have for you. And I think that scares you. But I'm not gonna sit out here on the front steps and freeze my ass off trying to pull that statement from you. I'm going inside." I rise to my feet, and slap the dirt off my butt. Vegeta is staring off into space.

I turn the door knob and say gently, "You coming?" He doesn't answer, but he follows me inside.

What the hell do I do now?

(to be continued)