Cruel Summer Pt. 1- He Decides

Lyrics by Ace of Base

Story by Lady Maxwell

Outlaw Star fanfic

Hi minna! Of course I don’t own Outlaw Star or the song He Decides. Just

borrowing them for a moment. I promise I won’t break them. Anyway, hope

you like. This is my first attempt at OS so if its horrible, I’m sorry. I

was inspired by the wonderful writings of Missfortune. You’re the best.

Love and Huggs.

The El Dorado was docked in Hayfong and its crewmembers were enjoying some

free time, including the infamous McDougal brothers. At least one of the

McDougal brothers was enjoying himself. Ron was pawing his younger brother,

Harry, again. “ Ron, c-can’t we do this later?”

“ But you’re so hot, I want you now. You know how much I love you.” Harry

almost cringed at the word ‘love.’ He knew that even though he would never

really be able to feel love, what Ron felt for him was nowhere near what

love was. Sometimes it just hurt so much. Harry stopped protesting and

just let Ron have his way. He did what he would always do. He closed his

eyes and tried to pretend he was somewhere else. As hard as he tried, he

couldn’t distance himself from the act. As soon as his mind began to wander

some new pain would bring him back to the act being committed. Ron was

always so rough with him. The most humiliating part of the whole ordeal was

that it seemed everyone knew about it.

Can’t you hear them whispering

Around you all the time

Members of the crew would whisper whenever he walked by them if Ron wasn’t

there. Even his friends made comments about it. It made him feel so dirty

inside. But he loved Ron. Ron was the only one that took care of him and

he just had a strange way of showing his affection. Like by doing what he

was doing now. “ Harry, you’re so good. I love you so much,” Ron panted

between thrusts. “ I love you, too,” Harry whispered as Ron reached his

climax. Ron wrapped his arms around Harry and was quickly asleep. When he

was sure Ron was asleep, Harry slid out of his brother’s grip and got

dressed. Then he went outside to wander the streets and to try to forget

what had just happened. Somehow, he wound up in a dark bar in the middle of

the city. He suddenly felt overwhelmed by everything he’d experienced and

put his head down on the bar.

Gene decided to go out on his first night in Hayfong in what seemed like

ages. He had no particular spot in mind and he just wandered for a moment.

As he walked by a small bar something told him to go inside for a drink. He

wouldn’t get sloshed, just a couple drinks and then he’d be on his way. He

walked right up to the bar and ordered a double shot of scotch. After

gulping down his drink, Gene glanced around the bar to see if anyone

interesting was there. His eyes roamed the bar and then landed on waves of

sea-green hair. “ It couldn’t be…” he thought as he remembered the only

person he had ever seen with hair like that. “ My angle has come back,”

Gene whispered. Those locks looked so soft and silky as they cascaded over

his creamy white shoulders and obscured his beautiful face. He was

beautiful. He looked up and for a second his eyes locked with Gene's and he

gasped. Gene grabbed the second drink that had quickly replaced the first

one and headed toward the seat next to Harry.

Harry couldn’t catch his breath. Gene Starwind was headed toward him with

the most incredible smile on his face. The first time Harry had ever seen

Gene he thought the man was amazing and now he was coming towards him. When

Gene sat down, Harry tried to sit up and look nonchalant. “ Well, hello

there.”

“Hi.”

“ I never would have guessed I’d meet you again. Especially in a place like

this.”

“ What do you mean?” Harry couldn’t believe that Gene actually just wanted

to talk to him. “ Well, you don’t look like the type to hang around in

places like this. Regardless of what you do, you look so innocent.” Harry

almost laughed aloud. “ Looks can be very deceiving.”

“ Yeah, I guess they can. But in your case, I think I’m right. Harry

McDougal you look so beautiful tonight.” Just hearing those words made a

shiver shoot through Harry. He was pinned to the spot b Gene’s chocolate

brown eyes. He was so busy staring in Gene’s eyes that he was surprised by

Gene’s hand on his cheek. Gene had the softest touch Harry had ever felt.

“ Gene you s-shouldn’t say things like that. T-They aren’t true.”

“ I believe they are.” Gene flashed his winning smile at Harry while a

figure approached them. “ Here you are, Harry.”

“Oh, hey Ron! Just having a chat with our old friend here.” Harry laughed

nervously as the two sized each other up, his use of the word ‘friend’

obviously being sarcasm. “ Gene Starwind.”

“ Ron McDougal,” Gene ground out. He hadn’t forgotten how Ron had set he

and his friends up. That coupled with some of the rumors he had heard about

what Ron did to his younger brother made Ron one of the people Gene loathed.

For once Fred’s endless knowledge of intergalactic gossip had a good use,

since Fred was the one he heard the rumors from. His anger had exploded

when Fred first told him of what he’d heard. The sight of the elder

McDougal brother made Gene sick to his stomach. “ Harry come on.”

“ But R-Ron, we w-were j-just hanging out. I-I promise I’ll be back soon.”

Ron looked like he couldn’t believe what Harry had said. Harry was actually

surprised at himself. “ I said, come on.”

“ Sure thing, Ron.” Harry stood up and Gene grabbed his hand. “ You don’t

have to go,” he whispered. Harry smiled briefly at Gene and walked in front

of his brother. Ron threw Gene a heated glance and walked out. Harry

couldn’t look back because he knew he would see how angry Ron was. When

they reached the hotel Harry turned around to begin his apology when Ron

backhanded him. Harry put his hands up in defense and tried not to cry out.

“ What the hell were you doing in there?! And with Gene Starwind of all

people?! You are such a slut!”

“ I’m sorry, R-Ron. I-I just wanted to get out or a while. I d-didn’t know

Gene would b-be there.”

“ Then why were you talking to him?”

Can’t you tell the difference

Between things when you’re in love

I hear your voice is trembling

Every time when he’s around

“ Gene came and sat beside me and just s-started talking. I swear.” Ron

stepped in front of Harry and touched the cheek he had just slapped and bent

low to kiss it. He whispered in Harry’s ear, “ I saw him touch you and you

know no one can touch you but me. I love you so much; I don’t want anyone

near you. Please don’t ever leave me like that again.”

“ I’m sorry, Ron. I won’t do it again.”

Gene watched the McDougal brothers leave and gulped down yet another drink.

Ron was really asking for it. And he could tell he was doing something to

Harry by the way Harry’s attitude changed when he saw his older brother.

Gene wasn’t very sure about what prompted him to speak to the younger man

but he had always found him so irresistible. His pale skin was so soft.

Gene wanted to kiss him so badly. Damn! He had been so close. Why

couldn’t he just forget about the both of them and go home? Gene knew

better than to fool himself into thinking he could. He swallowed a final

drink and headed for his room in the wonderful Starwind and Hawking

building. He had to call Fred. By the time Gene made it back, he realized

he was a little drunk and very lonely. He sat down and put in his call. “

Yes?”

“Fred?”

“ Gene, is that you?”

“ Yeah, who else would it be?”

“ Rough night, huh? What can I do for you?”

“ Tell me what’s up with Harry McDougal.”

“ Harry? I thought you gave up on him a while ago.”

“ Yeah, well, I saw him tonight and he acted so strange.”

“ Okay, you know the basics and as far as gossip all I know is what I told

you before. The main rumor is incest. Some say forced and others say he’s

willing. I heard that Ron roughs him up a bit sometimes and won’t let him

go anywhere alone.”

“ So he snuck out tonight,” Gene mumbled more to himself than to Fred.

“What do you think, Fred?”

“ Ron is very controlling. I don’t really know about the rest though. It

seems to me that Harry is a brat anyway.”

“ That’s all an act. Find him for me, please.”

“ Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“ Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be fine.”

“ Okay,” Fred sighed trying not to let the disappointment he felt show

through his voice, “ Give me a second.” Gene was glad Fred had so many

resources. He would find Harry and speak to him alone. And maybe, he would

even kiss him.

Harry woke up and glanced around the room. Ron was gone, which was a good

thing, and after checking a mirror he could see that he only had a few

bruises. Harry took a hot shower and washed his hair with his favorite

shampoo. He slid on some pants and began to brush his thick hair when

someone knocked on his door. “ Come in,” he called over his shoulder.

Whoever it was quietly walked up behind Harry and gently kissed his cheek.

“…Gene! What are you doing here?” Harry quickly ran to the door and locked

it, praying Ron didn’t come back now. He was gonna get it. “ I had to see

you again. And it cost me quite a bit to find you.”

“ Well, I’m flattered but you have to go.”

“ Afraid of Ron?” Harry distractedly looked around the room while he weakly

shook his head.

Your detached engagements

In the things I say means love, oh

“ Harry, I know what he’s doing to you. It doesn’t have to be this way.”

Harry couldn’t believe what was happening. Gene wanted him? This was

madness. “ I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he whispered. “ Harry…

I know about what Ron is doing to you.” Harry sat down on the edge of the

bed. He had never felt more ashamed. “ Ron takes care of me, Gene. He’s

the only person that’s cared enough to try.”

“ He controls you! You can’t even go out by yourself.”

“ So?! He loves me and I love him and that’s all that matters. He just

gets a little upset sometimes.”

He decides whether you should smile

Whether you should cry

Whether you should be happy

He decides whether you should smile

Whether you should cry

Whether you should be sad

“ So you’re willing to live this way for the rest of you life?”

“ You don’t understand. I need him.” Gene sat down next to Harry and

touched a bruise on his cheek. “ You don’t need this,” he said touching the

darkest bruise for emphasis. “ When you are ready, I’ll be waiting for

you. And I’ll always be here if you need a friend. Promise you’ll call

me.” Harry looked like he wanted to cry. No one had ever been so gentle

with him. “ I promise.” Gene handed Harry his number and then he kissed

him on the lips so swiftly that Harry couldn’t really be sure it happened.

Then Gene was gone. Harry began brushing his hair again and hid Gene’s

number so Ron wouldn’t find it. It felt good to be treated gently for a

change. Harry smiled while he searched for his red, silk ribbon. He just

finished tying back his hair when Ron walked in. “ You’re finally awake.”

“ Yeah. Sorry.”

“ What’re you so happy about?”

“ Nothing in particular. Can’t I just be happy?”

“ Yeah…sure.” Harry rifled through his clothes while Ron watched him from

narrowed eyes. “ Hey Harry, you’ll never guess who I saw in the lobby.”

“ Who?” Harry called over his shoulder, looking for a dark blue shirt to

wear with his jeans. “ Gene Starwind.” To Harry’s credit, he didn’t change

his demeanor one bit. “ Really? Better watch him, huh?”

“ I’m not sure if he’s the one I should be watching.” Harry pulled on his

shirt and turned around. “ What was that supposed to mean?”

“ Nothing, dear brother. Besides seeing him was good because I just went to

discuss a contract and his name came up.”

“ Wha?” Harry tried not to sound alarmed by the prospect of killing the

only man that acted like he cared. “ Yeah. Someone has it in for him. But

that wasn’t the contract. C’mon, let’s go handle this.” Harry followed his

brother out the do and breathed a mental sigh of relief that they weren’t

going after Gene.

“ Gene! Gene wake up!”

“ Ahh, Jim! C’mon…my head.”

“ Of course you would get wasted in the middle of the day. What’s wrong

with you?”

“ Nothing. What’s up?”

“ You gotta find a job or something, Gene. Do you know how much it costs to

dock the Outlaw Star here?! We need money and Fred isn’t going to give us

any until another job comes up. C’mon.” Gene pouted and stood up to follow

Jim. He had gotten smashed but only because of what happened that morning.

He got to see the beautiful Harry McDougal and then, as he was leaving, he

saw Ron. “ Stay away from my brother, Gene.”

“ Excuse me?”

“ You heard me. He’s mine. You’re only hurting him anyway because you’re

making me mad.” Gene grabbed Ron by his jacket and spat out, “ If you lay a

hand on him, I’ll fucking kill you.” Ron laughed and disengaged himself

from Gene’s grip. “ Sure thing, cowboy.” Gene had been so angry when he

left, he just bought a bottle of gin and went to his room. Now he had to go

find a job. This sucked.

Harry was thinking about what Gene had said to him that morning. He was so

confused. He wanted Gene but he needed Ron. He couldn’t live without Ron

because he couldn’t take care of himself. At least that’s what Ron always

said.

If he does not love you

You’re afraid that you can’t go on

Living without loving never makes a person strong, no

If he really loves you

Let him show you that instead

“ Hey Ron.”

“ Yeah?”

“ Do you think I could ever take care of myself?”

“ You? C’mere Harry.” Harry sat next to Ron and let Ron pull him onto his

lap. “ Baby, why would you ever want to leave me? I love taking care of

you.”

“ But sometimes I just wonder if I could, y’know.”

“ Don’t worry about it.” Ron kissed his cheek and smiled at him. Harry felt

awful for doubting his brother but sometimes Ron could be so mean. Maybe

Gene was wrong about Ron. Who was Gene to be judging his brother, anyway?

Sure he talked a good game but Ron proved that he cared everyday. Gods, he

could be such a spaz. “ Harry, this infatuation you have with Gene Starwind

will pass.”

“ Huh?”

“ Just as it did with Melfina, your obsession will pass. That is why you

need me, don’t you see? You don’t know what you want so you need me to take

care of what you need. Gene would never stay with you long enough to care.

He wouldn’t take care of your arm for you. He would never love you. But I

do.” Harry gripped his arm and bit his lip to stop from crying out at his

brother’s words. They stabbed at his heart because they were so true. Gene

would never love him and no one would ever care enough to give him a chance.

“ Ron, I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I’ll never doubt you again, I

swear.”

“ That’s my baby. Now I have to go to dinner with a client and I want you

to stay here until I get back. Okay?”

“ Okay, Ron. Have a good time.” Ron kissed Harry and the younger brother

smiled weakly as he watched the elder leave. As soon as Harry was

completely alone, he began to cry. He was so lonely. Ron had compared what

he felt for Gene to what he felt for Melfina but it wasn’t the same. He

thought he was in love with her because of what they were and because they

both had a desire to know more about themselves. And, honestly, because she

was a sure way to see Gene Starwind. What he felt for Gene was genuine, it

was real. He liked Gene because he was so honest. When you spent your life

around people that lied constantly, meeting someone that told the truth made

you pause. Well, that and a gorgeous body and a smile that could melt

steel. But Ron was right, Gene would never love him. Not a freak like him.

He didn’t deserve that kind of love. But it was nice to dream about such

things. He took off his clothes and went to his dresser to find a

comfortable T-shirt to sleep in. He picked out a blue one to go with his

navy boxers and as he picked up a book to read, Gene’s number bell from

between the pages. Harry looked at it for a moment and then picked it up,

along with the book. He lay on the bed and sighed loudly. Then he took his

ribbon out of his hair and ran his fingers through the aquamarine mass.

After many minutes of indecision, Harry grabbed the phone and dialed the

number before he could change his mind. It rang twice and then he heard,

“Starwind and Hawking, no job too big or small. How can we help you?”

“ Uh yes, Gene Starwind please.”

“ Sure thing. Hold on. Geennee!! Phone!” Harry listened and smiled

remembering how cute Jim Hawking was. “ Hello?”

“ Umm…Gene?”

“ Hello there, gorgeous. How are you?”

“ I’m okay. Are you busy?”

“ Never to busy for a friend. What’s on your mind?”

“ Ron just went out and said I have to stay here so I guess I was a little

lonely.” Harry felt so nervous about talking to Gene for numerous reasons.

If Ron found out he would have a fit and he didn’t really know what to say

to Gene. “ What did you do today, Mr. McDougal?” Harry laughed nervously

and smiled as he rolled onto his back to look at the ceiling. “ Well, early

this morning a very nice guy paid me a visit. Then Ron and I had a contract

to handle which took up the rest of the day.”

“ Do you actually do any…y’know…shooting?”

“ Sometimes. I mainly handle hacking into security systems and stuff for

stealing ships.”

“ Sounds hard. Do you like doing it?”

“ I dunno. I never thought about it. No one’s ever asked. How was your

day, Gene?”

“ Rather nice, actually. So what are you doing right now?”

“ I just got ready for bed.”

“ Sounds nice. I may go to bed soon myself.”

“ Gene? Do you think I’m a…a freak? I mean do you talk to me out of pity

or could you ever really like me?”

“ I DO really like you, Harry. And I already told you that I think you’re

beautiful. Did Ron say something to you?”

“ Not really.”

“ Harry, you’ve got to believe in yourself and know that you’re a good

person. Le me take you out to prove it to you. Meet me tomorrow in the

Hayfong Indoor Gardens, at noon.”

“ Okay. I’ll meet you in the atrium. Goodnight, Gene.”

“ Goodnight, Harry. Have sweet dreams.” Harry’s dreams were definitely

going to be sweet because all he could think of was Gene’s handsome face.

I will be here with you

Cause I know you’re afraid of love, oh

Harry smiled as he walked around the atrium of the Hayfong Indoor Gardens.

Light was pouring in through the high glass ceiling and it warmed his skin.

He had lied to Ron to get out alone but it was worth it. He had been

waiting there since eleven-thirty, trying to think of what he would say to

Gene. He had no idea what to say to the most incredible person he’d ever

known. When he was the tall redhead approach him he began to blush. “

Harry, you look incredible. I love your hair this way.” Harry had worn his

hair loose today and instead of his vest and jeans he wore a fitted knit

sweater and some loose khakis. “ Thank you, Gene. Thank you so much.”

“ C’mon, there’s somewhere I want to take you.” Gene grabbed Harry’s hand

and led him toward the glass elevator. Harry couldn’t believe what was

happening. He was out with the most gorgeous man in the galaxy. “ G-Gene,

why are you being so nice to me? Ron already told me you could never love

me. Are you doing this because you like me?” The question caught Gene

completely off guard. Gene just smiled and put his arm around Harry’s

shoulders while he pushed a button for the tenth floor. The trip was short

and Gene remained silent. When the doors opened, they stepped out and were

surrounded by the most beautiful orchids Harry had ever seen. The flowers

bloomed in various shades of purple, blue, and white. Their beauty and

their heady scent overwhelmed Harry. He led Harry to a small enclosure and

sat on a bench, asking Harry to join him. “ Now to answer your question. I

am being nice to you because it pleases me to see you happy. You deserve to

be treated nicely. And as for Ron, he has no way of knowing what I can and

cannot feel and whom I can love. Now, I have a question for you.”

“ Okay.”

“ Do you want me to love you?” Harry turned and began to fidget with his

loose hair. He touched a large purple bloom near his seat and sighed. He

didn’t know what to say.

He decides whether you should smile

Whether you should cry

Whether you should be happy

He decides whether you should smile

Whether you should cry

Whether you should be sad

“ What I want is unimportant, Gene. I never want what is best for me.

That’s why I need Ron in my life. He’s the only one that can take care of

me.”

“ Harry…how can I make you understand? Ron needs you, you don’t need him.

He needs someone to control. Harry…” Gene touched Harry’s chin and made

him look into his eyes. There were so many words on the tip of his tongue

but he couldn’t decide which ones would make Harry understand. “Gene, I

know what you mean but I can’t survive without Ron. I’ve never been on my

own before. Besides, Ron takes care of my…my arm.” Harry clutched the

appendage as he turned away from Gene. “ You never answered my question,

Harry. Do you want me to love you?” Every fiber in Harry’s body screamed

at him to answer ‘yes’ but his mouth felt so dry. “Harry, I will always be

here for you, okay? You don’t have to choose right now. I don’t expect you

to. I just want to give you something to think about.” Harry looked up at

Gene with tears in his violet eyes and a quiver in his pouty lips. “ Gene…”

“ Shh. See that orchid right there? It reminds me of your eyes. I could

never forget your eyes, Harry. Never.” Then Gene did what he’d wanted to

do since he was the younger McDougal brother. He tipped up Harry’s face

and kissed him. He began with short, light nips and then deepened the kiss.

Harry tasted so damn good. Harry’s arms went around Gene’s neck and he

absently began to play with the short, red hairs at the nape of Gene’s neck.

It was more than Harry could have ever hoped for. Gene’s taste was

distinctly masculine but sweet at the same time. Harry couldn’t stop the

moan that flew from his throat and into Gene’s mouth. It was becoming more

than either one of them could bear and they parted, breathless. Gene

plucked on of the smaller blooms and put it behind Harry’s right ear. “

Don’t forget me, Harry. I have to go to Hayfong 3 and I won’t be back for a

while. I do care for you. Remember that, okay?”

“ I will remember, Gene.” Gene smiled and led Harry back to the elevator.

They parted ways smiling and Harry fingered the orchid in his hair the whole

walk back to his hotel. Gods, Gene had a way of making him feel like he was

the only person in the world that mattered. He practically floated to his

room and nearly dropped his orchid when Ron’s glare met him. “ Where were

you?”

“ I-I went for a walk.”

“ You’re fucking lying to me. Now tell me where you went.”

“ R-Ron…I…I went…” Harry didn’t get a chance to finish because Ron smacked

him, repeatedly. “ Why do you make me do this to you? Huh?”

“ R-Ron please…please stop!”

“ Shut up?” Ron kept hitting him until Harry couldn’t move anymore. When

Harry woke up, he picked up the orchid from the floor and went to the

bathroom. His face was bruised and his bottom lip was split. He cried as

he held the beautiful bloom in his hand. He had been such a fool to even

think that anyone could thin he was beautiful. And now Gene was gone so he

had no one to call. He was hurt and it had little to do with the pains

roaming his face.

You’ll never change my mind, my friend

Don’t let that feeling go

This love may change your world around

In time you’ll have to know

Whether you should go

Gene sat on the Outlaw Star and stared out into the void that was space.

“Hey Gene, what’s wrong with you?”

“ Huh? Oh nothing, Jim. Just thinking.”

“ About Harry McDougal, right?”

“ What?”

“ Well, it’s kinda obvious. You’ve brought up his file a hundred times in

the last few days. And anyway…he’s cute.” Gene actually laughed at that.

“ Oh, you think Harry is cute? I guess I have to watch out then, huh?”

“ His brother is a jerk.”

“ Yeah. I’m trying to convince Harry to come with us. Get him away from

Ron.” Jim just nodded his head and stood up. “ I’m going to the bridge,

Gene. To check things out. Don’t think too hard.”

“ Yeah, yeah…whatever.” Jim was far more observant than Gene gave him

credit for. And Harry was a mystery he had yet to figure out. He knew that

Ron was controlling him because he needed to but he allowed it anyway. And

he had no self-esteem. Everything Gene thought he knew about Harry turned

out to be what Ron wanted him to know. How would he be able to convince

Harry that he would be strong for him? That he could show him how love

really was? He was going to get Harry, that he knew but he had no idea how

he would get him away from his older brother. Then the only way became

clear. He would challenge Ron to a duel.

He decides whether you should smile

Whether you should cry

Whether you should be happy

He decides whether you should smile

Whether you should cry

Whether you should be sad…

Harry cowered in the far corner of the bed, praying he fell asleep before

Ron came back. His face ached and his heart hurt. He couldn’t stop crying,

no matter how hard he tried and Ron hated it when he cried. “ Harry. Harry

are you awake?” Harry held his breath and didn’t dare move. Ron sat next

to him on the bed and petted his hair. He sighed and said, “ Harry, don’t

you know that you’re mine? Only mine. No one else can have you. Why do

you make me hurt you when all I want to do is love you? Why don’t you love

me?” Ron didn’t expect any answers but he wanted to know all the same.

Harry breathed deeply and tried to absorb all that had happened to him that

day. He would never be free to love the man he wanted but he could never

completely love the man he needed. Why didn’t he have any control over what

went on in his life? Why wouldn’t anybody listen to him? Why couldn’t he

just get up and walk away?