Fic name: Hey Diddle Diddle
Author: Crow Shinigami (Rowan Crow)
Anime: Fruits Basket
Type: Challenge fic
Thanks to: Cali-chan, D The Fablespinner, and Caer for interesting and great ideas that got the creative juices flowing. Nee-san who would have helped if she knew what Hey Diddle Diddle was ^_~, Fred for making the monkey, Raksha for being muh Koooi-chan ^_~, Kita-chan for hosting my very first fanfic ever back when she was hosted off of Geoshitties, For-chan for the great challenge (and for all those scans!), Tal-chan muh sissy for editing everything I've ever written (the anal retentive bitch ^_^), and Gwen-e-faerie because she didn't get mad when i threw up on her floor... twice.
Oh, and I got a kind-of-challenge when I mentioned this fic to a friend at school (in my English class). She said that it would be funny to also use the Hey Diddle Diddle concept with Devil Went Down To Georgia laced in somehow... And so you get this fic!
Death wishes go out to Jason Bolinger, two females in PA I hate but will remain nameless (MEATGRINDER!), Pete's cousin Ian, Chris from NC, Cowboy, most people in Pacolet, Raven Fireblade, and Naja Corvus.
Kyou stared down at the food, if that's what it could be called, that sat on the table before him. He poked it with his chopsticks and screamed as it moved. He glared across the table at Yuki who looked at his cousin with a cold glare set on his face. Kyou gulped as he stabbed the... abomination.... with his chopsticks and blood covered his plate.
"IT'S ALIVE!" Kyou jumped up and threw the plate across the room. It tore through a wall and shattered against a far away tree. Yuki stood up; a glare set on his face, and walked over to Kyou.
"You didn't have to throw the plate out the window baka neko. It was a joke. I'll go get your food." Yuki sighed as he walked into the kitchen, leaving Kyou alone at the table. He smiled evilly as he sat Kyou's food, which looked like it'd been cooked by Tohru herself, on the counter. He pulled a small vial of what appeared to be black garlic out of seemingly nowhere and poured a slight amount on Kyou's food. It appeared to be nothing more than burnt seasoning. Yuki nodded to himself and took the plate to Kyou.
"I would have gotten it kuso nezumi! I could have cooked for myself too! I'm going to die because of your cooking, I know it." Kyou hissed at Yuki as he took his plate and began to eat it cautiously. With three bites Kyou became woozy. He looked up at Yuki and blinked.
"Kyou, how are you feeling?"
"Ti....tired.... what.... did you do?" Kyou watched as Yuki held a finger to his lips and winked to him.
"S~e~c~r~e~t."
The last thing Kyou saw before passing out on the table was Yuki standing to clear the table.
It was a bright sunny day out when Kyou climbed out of bed. The birds were chirping, the crickets singing, and Kyou had the urge to do something he'd not done since he was younger. He blinked, why the urge had taken him so suddenly he'd never know, but the urge was there none-the-less. He walked over to his closet and smiled to himself as he took out his most prized possession... besides the "I love Souma-kun" shirt he had hidden away under the box of photos of Yuki... his fiddle.
He smiled as he opened his window and carefully climbed out and up onto the roof. He smiled as he positioned the fiddle and brought the bow up to begin playing. He began tapping his foot to the music and swaying around like an idiot. He was really getting into it when Akito, who had Hatori bring him over, climbed onto the roof and pulled out a golden fiddle.
"Akito..."
"You're pretty good at playing the fiddle, Kyou, but I am better. Anyone can play better than the cat. But I'll make you a bet... If you can outplay me, then I will not lock you up when you finish high school." Akito looked at Kyou. He knew Kyou would accept the challenge. Being the hot-head Kyou is, any challenge or offer had to be met with full flare. So, Kyou nodded and motioned for Akito to play first. Akito grinned evilly, so evilly that Kyou shuddered, and began to play.
The song Akito played was dark and evil. As he played the sun seemed to become black and the water turned to blood. Somewhere a village was infested by locusts and another village was ridden with boils and bruises. A small town called Fingerville* was suddenly rained on by fire.
As Akito finished his song, he smiled and looked to Kyou who smirked and lifted his fiddle. He silently began playing, somehow being joined by a full orchestra. As he played the misfortunes that Akito's music had caused were fixed and the sky became bright. It became so bright in fact that some people thought that it was God coming to earth and began having wild parties to celebrate the apocalypse.
However, Kyou's playing was the most beautiful playing anyone had heard in a long time. But no matter how beautiful it was, it annoyed Yuki to no ends. Yuki growled as he stomped outside with a hammer in hand and glared up at the roof.
"BAKA NEKO!" Yuki watched as Kyou stopped playing the fiddle and glared down at him. Kyou was about to go into his trade mark ranting when Akito stepped forward to watch the action.
"What do you want Kuso nezumi?!"
"Hey, diddle diddle somewhere else! I can't hear myself think!" With that, Yuki threw the hammer he was carrying with all his might. Unfortunately, he missed Kyou by a foot and smacked Akito dead in the head with it. Akito stumbled back, and then fell off the back of the roof. Kyou blinked and walked over to the ledge Akito had fallen off of and looked down. Akito had died on impact with the ground. Kyou shrugged and went back into the house through his window.
Kyou walked into the living room and watched as Momiji ran back and forth between Haru, Hatori, Shigure, and Yuki making adjustments on costumes that were fashioned after their curse. Momiji, himself, was bouncing around in a little yellow bunny suit, making sure that everyone's outfits fit nicely. Kyou was still holding his fiddle, proud that he'd beaten Akito. Momiji spotted him and squealed.
"Perfect Kyou! If you get in your costume you'll be just like the cat in Hey Diddle Diddle!" Kyou twitched as he turned to run out of the room. However, Yuki and Haru were on him in seconds, pinning him down to the floor and pulling his clothes off of him to put him in the costume. This act was getting Kyou very hard however, so he really didn't try to fight back. Before he knew it, Yuki and Haru had him in an orange cat outfit. His fiddle was still in his hands. Momiji squealed again and called for Tohru.
Tohru smiled as she walked in, her outfit and face were all covered in flour. She looked at the group and squealed just like Momiji and began gushing about how kawaii they all looked in their outfits.
"Oh! And as soon as you're all done rehearsing for the play, I've made chocolate pudding!" Tohru grinned as she went upstairs to change out of her flour covered clothes.
Hatori stood off to the side, wishing that he wasn't a nice guy because if he wasn't he would have killed Momiji for putting him in such a ridiculous outfit. He sighed as he took a long draw off his cigarette and looked up. Shigure was grinning like a mad man and turned around so his back was to Hatori.
"Oh Ha-san!" Shigure giggled as he unzipped the back of his costume and bent over, sticking his butt up in the air and then proceeding to wag it around.
"HATSUHARU GET BACK HERE!" Yuki chased Haru out of the kitchen, trying to recover the pudding that Haru had stolen. It wouldn't have been so bad if Haru hadn't of stolen the entire bowl of it! Haru laughed as he ate a spoonful of the pudding, and then took the most direct path to the door. However, Shigure was in the way, mooning Hatori. Haru, however, didn't feel like giving up his prize so he jumped over Shigure's exposed bottom. Yuki ended up tripping up over the tail on his costume and falling on top of Kyou. Shigure, by this time, had fallen to the floor and was rolling around in laughter, his ass still exposed to the world.
There was a sudden scream from the kitchen and Tohru, who had gone to get the pudding for everyone, came running into the living room.
"Everyone! The pudding dish has run away with the spoon!" Tohru began to freak out and searching all over the living room for the runaway dish and spoon. Kyou and Yuki tried to hold their laughter in, but to no avail. Soon their laughter was erupting from them in waves that sent Shigure into another fit of laughter. Momiji was sitting in a corner crying about his ruined play while Haru came walking back into the house to return the pudding, which he'd eaten half of.
Unfortunately, Haru didn't see Shigure rolling around and ended up tripping on him and the bowl flew out of his hands. It flew and did a flippy thing, spilling its contents on Yuki and Kyou. The bowl landed on Momiji's head like a hat, getting the sticky residue of the pudding in his hair. Haru then ended up falling on top of Yuki and Kyou, covering the front of his costume in pudding. Shigure began laughing again and Tohru ran over to Momiji to help him get the bowl off his head. Hatori lit up another cigarette and shook his head, mumbling "bakas" under his breath.
Kyou jumped up in bed with a scream. He began looking around, wondering how he'd gotten into bed. He blinked, and then climbed out of bed. He rubbed the back of his neck and left his room to go downstairs. As soon as he entered the living room he fell on his head.
Momiji had everyone dressed in costumes that were fashioned after their curses. However... Yuki and Haru weren't present. He blinked; Tohru was in the living room with everyone else.
"Ah! Kyou-kun! Yuki and Haru said they wanted to talk to you in the kitchen when you woke up!" Tohru watched as Kyou nodded his head and stood up. He walked carefully into the kitchen and blinked at the site before him.
Yuki was covered in chocolate pudding and Haru was licking it off.
Just a foot away from them, on the counter.... was Kyou's fiddle.
*Fingerville = This is actually the name of the town I live in. Why am I so careless as to give out this info? ^_^ Because who would waste their time stalking me? I mean... I've got Jos+a lookin' out for me! That guy has more weapons that the military! No kidding.
^_^ Okies! I hope you all liked it! ^_^
~~Rowan Crow~~
"Both art and homicide are ways to express yourself. express yourself to me." -Me-
Smut Slut #1
http://hatsuharu.net
Official keeper of: Kyou's unshed tears, Akito's frailty, Megumi's denpa power, Kamui's Shinken, and Dark's Wardrobe.