Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, but I wish I did. I wrote this after listening to -"Bottled Up" way too many times. The song reminded me of Yuki...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We live every day like it were the last day we had to live. Everyday we fight our battles, even in the classroom. Some people lead lives of excitement and adventure. Those people are living the life many of us dream of. We think to ourselves "If they can do it, why can't I?" The truth is, we all live the same life. The same things affect us. We are a linked world. I think it is safe to say the same is true for my family. All of us were born with the risk of being cursed with the inability to hug, no, love the opposite sex. The others, they lived through Akito. But we, we have died with him.

When Akito passed on, we were left with so many unanswered questions. The main question for me was; what did he do with Kyou? Also, when Akito died, Tohru-chan ran away. The last I heard, she was betrothed to the synthesis to some popular band I've never listened to. Odd, she fell in love with the only straight member of the band. But, talking of her is straying from the story I want to tell...

My little story starts the day after senior year passed.... Kyou asked to speak to me privately out by my secret base... How could I refuse his beautiful burnt-red eyes and his forlorn expression? I wanted to melt as soon as he asked, but I played it cool like the Prince I am and agreed to speak with him.

It was then that I learned of Kyou's fate...

"Locked away?" I reached out and pressed my hand to Kyou's cheek as he tried to look away. He'd never been so ashamed as to shy away from me like that, even when he lost fights! Kyou was bold, he was brash at times, but he was beautiful and strong. My mind was going numb, locked away? My only love was being locked away? Was everything being taken from me? Bitter tears bit the corners of my eyes; I couldn't restrain myself...

"Yuki?" Kyou's voice was startled as I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him to me. Never, never did I want to let him go, his arms slowly made their way around my waist. Why did it feel so right? So natural? The scent of him filled my nostrils, I wanted to kiss him just once, to let him know I didn't hate him. Gently I let my lips brush against his neck. Not only had he never been hugged out of love, but also he had never been kissed. My Kyou, how could I have gone so long making you think I hated you? Gods, to be able to let him know the extent of my love.

"Kyou, wo ai ni Kyou..." Gently, ever so gently, I kissed his perfect lips. Beauty. My heart skipped a beat, true love. The butterflies swarmed in my stomach, making it turn. My knees grew weak. This feeling, could it be love. He supported my weight as I leaned more into the kiss, turning it to a more desperate one. He backed away, still keeping me steady.

The look in his eyes... Kyou was mine... Always had been. It was then that I realized that all I ever had to say was "Please Kyou, for me?" and he would jump from the tallest building if it made me happy. His eyes were red with tears, how I wanted to kiss them away. I went to tell him more, to tell him how much I loved him, when we saw Akito standing with Hatori, Shigure, and my brother. We both knew what they were there for, to take Kyou away from me. I grasped him by the shirt and held it tightly as the three older men walked over. Ayame held me back as Shigure and Hatori pulled Kyou from me.

"Kyou!" I jerked myself free from the weak hold my brother had on me and leapt forward, wrapping my arms tightly around Kyou's neck in one last show of affection. I pressed my lips to his and let the tears fall down my cheeks. Kyou gently pushed me away and turned, jerking away from our cousins, and walked on his own to Akito. I felt my body jerk to run and protect him like I hadn't been able to protect Tohru in the past. The three elder Juunishi were on me in mere seconds, holding me back as I kicked and fought against them. Anything to save Kyou, I'd do anything.

"Yuki! Yuki! Calm down Yuki! There is nothing you can do!" Shigure and Hatori watched as I fell to my knees. Kyou and Akito were walking to Hatori's car. I gripped the ground beneath me and tore at the grass. I felt my mouth open, but I heard no sound come out. According to my brother, I screamed out Kyou's name, and then proclaimed my eternal love for him. I passed out; the events were too much for me....

When I came to I was in Kyou's room. I guess Ayame had decided that it would be fitting for me to be there. I remember thanking him, Kami how I thanked him for letting me at least think that I still had Kyou with me. I had decided when the faintest threads of consciousness came to me that I would call a Juunishi meeting, because I wanted them all to hear what I had to say to Akito. They were all going to know.

The next few days I spent laying in Kyou's room, crying as I gripped one of his shirts in my hands and held it to my heart. I was, at that moment, the weakest I'd ever been. However, I do not see it as weak, only as... gathering my strength for the coming storm. Tohru was still with us, always having fits over me, telling me that I needed to get out. I decided to take her with me to meet with Akito and the others, I wanted her to see that I did not love her; I loved Kyou.

The day finally came, everyone was dressed in his or her best, and I was dressed in one of the outfits that hung in Kyou's closet. What, did they expect me to come representing myself as their perfect child? As their gifted rat? No, I wouldn't give them that pleasure. As we all sat in Akito's room, he made a quick note of my clothes, I'm sure he was still angry over my show of affection. Little did he know that I wasn't going to let him run over me any longer. I was going to make a stand.

He greeted us all and asked why I had called the meeting. It was time to stand up and take control of my life. I stood with quivering knees and looked him dead in the eyes. The memories are still embedded in the front of my mind, it was wonderful.

"Kyou."

"What about him?"

"Where is he?" My voice was threatening, warning him that he better answer in a way that I approved of, or he was going to regret letting us all come together. He smirked, I knew he wasn't going to tell me. I was going to have to threaten him, to hit him, to do something! I felt my hands form fists. I'd never been this angry when he'd torn at Tohru's hair, Kyou was the only person who made me this mad. Was this why? Because I felt I had to protect the one I loved from Akito?

"Locked away where no one can get to him. Why? Do you want one last chance to fight him?"

"No, because I love him!" The ones who were unaware, which would be every except for Ayame, Shigure, and Hatori, were taken back and appalled. The rat loved the cat? How cliché. I didn't care, I wanted them to know. I wanted them to see me stand up to Akito, to let them know that they had to stand up for their love too! Hiro was the first to follow my lead. He stood and cleared his throat. I wanted to smile because I was proud of him, but I concentrated a glare on Akito.

"I too wish to confess a secret love... To Kisa-chan..." I could see the violent shift in Akito suddenly. Before the others knew what was happening, he went to hit Hiro, right in front of us all. The next instant was surprising to us all, because not even Kami could have seen it coming. Momiji put himself between Akito and Hiro, throwing his arms out to the side as Tohru once did for him in school. Akito stopped his hand and glared. Suddenly, he brought his fist into Momiji's cheek, knocking him clear across the room. Haru jumped up, Akito had nicely brought Black Haru to the surface. Kagura, Kisa, and Tohru were helping Momiji as Hatori, Ayame, and Shigure stood in amazement. Were the children of the clan going to do what they couldn't? I'm sure they felt bad for themselves because we were doing what they couldn't!

Haru grabbed the front of Akito's kimono, growling out a threat of painful death. My hand fell on Haru's shoulder and he let Akito go. The smirk that appeared on our leader's face was annoying, it was laughing with pride and victory. It sickened me. He was gloating. Gloating that Kyou's whereabouts where a secret. The rage inside me flared. I suddenly punched him in the jaw as he had Momiji. He fell backwards into a wall, I advanced to do more damage but found myself being restrained. Kureno, Rin, Ritsu, Haru, and Hiro were holding me back from Akito.

We were coming together, finally. All of us were standing up to him! The girls and Momiji walked over to the others and I, followed by Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori. I stormed out of the room, sickened with the sight of Akito. Haru followed me, to make sure I was ok. What a great friend, Haru was another person who meant a lot to me. We walked together to Shigure's house I was feeling alive, I was feeling as if a weight had been lifted from me, but Kyou was still missing.

Two years later, Akito passed away. The moment we heard, Tohru ran to her room. I suppose she, in a way, had fallen in love with Akito. Maybe it was best that she left. After all, if she had fallen for him, I would have hated her as much as I hated Akito. I was happy he'd died, but that also meant that I would never know where my beloved Kyou was.

Three months later, today, I remember that my love is out there somewhere, and somewhere, someone is thinking of me and loving me. So I continue to strive on. Sohma Kyou, one day I swear that I will find you, and when I do, I will never let you go.

Ai shiteru, Kyou-koi.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The end…. Or… is it?

It ain't fading
Man I got to let it out
Am I quitting?
Screaming nothing ever come out
I keep feeling lost
I'll never find my way out
I'm not thanking them
Unless the truth can pour out
Give me some courage
Beating me down now for sometime
Are you laughing? Am i funny?
I hate inside
I hate inside
I take this time
To let out what's inside
Cause I will panic
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You may bestow my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
My heart is breaking
Man you really ripped it out
You take pleasure watching as I claw my way out
The hurt rising
Soon it's going to tear my soul out
It's not kosher feeling like I'm on my way out
Give me some courage
Beating me down for sometime
Are you laughing? Am i funny?
I hate inside
I hate inside
I'll take this time
To let out what's inside
Cause I will panic
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You may bestow my pride
And all this hate is bottled up inside
Feeling the haze as they cut down my spine
Peeling your flesh like the way you've cut mine
Do you feel happy you fucked up my mind
You're going to pay this time
I'll take this time
To let out what's inside
Cause I will panic
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You may bestow my pride.
And all this hate is bottled up inside